Since I was diagnosed two months ago, I have not had any “Why me?” thoughts. Honest. This not any great virtue. It’s just that I don’t think there’s an answer to the question. More than that, I don’t think it accomplishes anything to ask the question.
But tonight, I can’t sleep. It’s 2:17 a.m., and I’m having twinges of “Why me?”
Haven’t been sleeping well lately. Mostly off Vicodin, but flashes of pain push me to take half of one last night and tonight. I’m still sore from surgery, and the plan seems to be to let me heal for a couple more weeks, and then go in there and make me sore again. More Vicodin haze and boredom. The lovely granny bras for a week again. Then, if that second what at the cancer doesn’t get all the DCIS, I’m probably looking at mastectomy. Three surgeries for the price of one! No, four, because if I get a mastectomy, then there’s reconstruction.
I’m realizing this a going to be long road. I have no choice but to walk down this road. Why couldn’t it be someone else? Actually, why couldn’t it be no one?